hey clay. i hope to maintain a very regular correspondence with you about all those nazis in your neighborhood — seagulls for pets, you say? that’s extra-ordinary. racists sure are getting sophisticated to match the times i suppose.

but the question, clay, is how are the likes of us to adapt? we’ve been given a difficult chore — to maintain this sort of devil may care, absurdist’s frequently outraged tar-pit of manic depression, and meanwhile pay at least the slightest bit of attention to which buttons to push on your average elevator.

i, for one, am absolutely optimistic for us both. while the local newspaper has banned me from its personal section all together, especially the phone sex advertisements i’ve been making up and printing with their deal, twenty-five words for free, usually about twenty ads an issue, but in spite of this, and the rejection of my actual ad. ad sent back within minutes upon my sending them. it’s as if the newspaper were following me, clay. this is worse than a love letter returned to sender, this is the AD, which was supposed to be like a last resort, a desperate clinging to the concept of a relationship, this was returned with a poor excuse for not printing it, being that names couldn’t be included, and i accepted this clay. and i tore up the check and the coupon, and then i opened the latest copy — the personals are flooded with names; more elaborate names than the first name followed by a last INITIAL and a former place of employment which i was asking — somehow, it just shouldn’t be the slightest let up can come my way. i keep thinking i see something resembling a break — just there, right around the corner, or here in my lap, wearing some little tramp outfit or another, and then i come to realize that not only was i not getting a break, but i was getting all made to feel cozy and oversexed for a good beating in my own home; a club in the back of the head.

in spite of all this, though, clay, really, very fascinating about the kkk. they really have come a long way.

sincerely,

THE LOWEST MAN ON THE TOTEM POLE