majenta issue: 6 Sedition.com   Zero Salon   Devil's Dictionary X™
Section Features on majenta
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A·L·C·O·H·O·L·I·S·M

Alcohol disuse self-diagnosis profile.

We at majenta know how painful and difficult to escape sobriety can be. Here’s a test to see if you need help.

YesNo
Have you ever been sober at home?
Have you ever been sober in a bar?
Have you ever told a lie when you were sober?
Are you now or were you recently sober?
Have you ever been sober on the job?
Have you ever done anything when you were sober that you later regretted?
Have you ever been stopped by the police when driving sober?
Have you ever been in an argument when you were sober?
Have you ever gotten angry when you were sober?
Has your sobriety ever caused you trouble?
Have you ever driven a car while sober?
Have you ever refused to use any of the following: marijuana, hashish, amphetamines, uppers, speed, barbiturates, LSD, angel dust, heroin, morphine, opium, Percodan, Demerol, oxycodone, methadone, cocaine, crack, mescaline, tranquilizers, librium, laudanum, crystal meth, crank, ice, Dramamine, glue fumes, Magic Markers, Rohypnol, ketamine, allergy pills, caffeine, NyQuil, straight sugar, aspirin and Pepsi, Motrin, multi-vitamins from A to zinc, spider webs or eye of newt, motel soap, shoe leather or tannic acid, peyote, stamp adhesive, Pamprin, Midol, or Listerine?
Have you ever been in a fight when you were sober?
Has your sobriety ever caused trouble for others?
Have you ever been injured when sober?
Has anyone ever told you that you don’t drink enough?
Have you ever forgot or lost anything while you were sober?

If you can answer “Yes” to even one of these questions you may need help escaping sobriety but we are here to help. On the next pages you can find special tips and advice for helping you cope with this insidious, virusless, non-bacteriological disease.

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